The Truth of the Scars
by AddictedToTheWrittenWord
Summary: Set after Carl gets shot and before Rick and Michonne become canon. Michonne changes Carl's bandages and gives the upset young man a much needed boost of confidence, and Rick overhears the whole thing. Just a bit of fluffy angst to celebrate Richonne finally becoming canon.
"Oh my goodness did I hurt you?" Michonne asked as she heard Carl's sharp intake of breath.

"No, I just suddenly saw myself in the mirror and realized how ugly I am now."

"You are not ugly." Michonne said. Gently she cleaned out the scar just how Denise had shown her.

"I'm not a kid anymore you don't have to lie to me." Carl responded sullenly.

Michonne lifted Carl's chin so that he was looking into her face. "You. Are. Not. Ugly."

Carl smiled wryly. "If I'm not ugly then what am I?"

"You're a hero. Scars don't make you ugly and all of us have scars. I have scars, your dad has scars, and we'll all probably have a lot more. It's a way of life now.

"I still feel ugly. The scar looks so gross. My face is so nasty."

"You. Are. Not. Ugly." Michonne repeated. "Scars show that you've healed from something that seemed bigger than you at the time. Scars are your body's way of letting you know it's OK to go on. Besides you're in the club."

"What club?"

"Club Gun Shot Wounds, your dad and I are a part of it."

"I've been shot twice does that mean I get to be president?"

"I don't know, we'll have to ask your dad he's been shot twice too, maybe I'll shoot myself so I can be president."

Carl laughed and so did Michonne.

"I think the scar makes you look kind of bad ass." Michonne admitted.

"Not like the governor though?"

"Nothing like him. He was a sociopath, you're a hero." Michonne explained. She picked up the bottle of salve Denise had given her and began to gently spread it on the rough twisted patch of skin where Carl's eye had once been.

"Thanks for changing my bandages."

"You're welcome."

"I don't think I could have dad do it."

"Why not?"

"He'd be all like Hold still Coral. Help me wrap this bandage Coral. Which eye do I put the salve on Coral?"

"He wouldn't be that bad." Michonne said, but laughed at Carl's near perfect impersonation of his father.

"You gotta admit dad's bedside manor is complete crap. I mean he stuck his finger in your bullet wound."

"Not that it excuses his behavior, but your father was in a bad way then, and he did apologize."

"Yeah, but did he apologize for touching you like that?"

"Actually I told him to never touch me again, and he's pretty much kept that promise." Michonne sighed.

"Only because you told him not to, but he would if you said he could."

"What?"

"Nothing, nothing, we're all done right?"

Michonne nodded.

"I'm going to go over to Enid's then. Thanks again, bye."

Michonne began cleaning up the medical supplies.

"Hi dad, bye dad." She heard Carl greet his father in the hallway.

Rick stepped into the bathroom. "Just saw Carl flash by, he going to Enid's?"

"Yeah." Michonne said. She wrapped up the gauze and put it back in the medicine cabinet. "Where's Judith?"

"I put her down for a nap. Carl seems like he was in a better mood."

"He is." Michonne said.

"Thanks."

"You don't have to thank me."

"I do. My children wouldn't be alive without you."

"I wouldn't be alive without you, Rick. It's water under the bridge." Michonne said.

"I know, but we wouldn't be in this house without you, and this house wouldn't be a home without you. I just needed you to know that." He took the salve from her and placed the top on the bottle.

Michonne leaned up against the bathroom wall. "The world never lets you forget there's an apocalypse going on. I panicked that night. I never panic, but that night I was scared out of my mind. I thought I would lose you both. The thought of losing either one of you scares me senseless, but losing both of you would be my worst nightmare come true. I don't know how I even got through that night without losing it."

"I almost lost it myself. It was like a flash back for me. It was the second time I had to watch my son get shot while I had to sit back and do nothing. I thought I was going to lose him, and so I went out there and killed those walkers, because they were something I could blame. They were something I could punish. I didn't want to think what if. I didn't want to think about losing him, I just wanted a fight.

"I had a moment, right before I found you and Carl again, where I killed a small herd of walkers. They just kept coming up to me and I kept putting them down. I wanted a fight too, but when I was done I looked around me and all that I could see were dead bodies. When you're alone that's all it is. Dead bodies and fighting, it's still that way now, but at least we have something worth fighting for. At least we have people worth fighting for."

Rick and Michonne looked at each other and without a word between the two of them the pair went into Judith's room to check that she was still asleep.

"She and Carl have the same expression when their sleeping." Michonne said softly as she leaned over Judith's crib.

"I know. I can remember when Carl was this age, and now he's becoming a young man. Sometimes I can't get my head around it."

Michonne said nothing. She couldn't. All she could do was wonder what Andre would have been like if he'd been allowed to live as long as Carl had. There were so many times that she wanted to tell Rick about Andre, but the thought of having that conversation right now filled her with too much anxiety. Once she told Rick everything between them would change. He'd see her in a diffrent light. He would see her as a mother, but that was a wound that still felt too fresh to open up right now. That was another good thing about scars, she thought, they stopped wounds from hurting.

After seeing that Judith was OK Rick followed Michonne into the living room, and they began to straighten up all the things they negelcted to stragiten up eariler that day.

"When you stop thinking about all the fighting, death, and killing, we have it pretty good. No taxes, no utility bills, no traffic." Rick reasoned.

"No mortgage. I'll never have to pay off my student loans, and no more car payments." Michonne continued on.

They both laughed. It wasn't a humorous laugh, it was a what the fuck else are we going to do laugh.

"So what movie are we on tonight?" Rick asked.

"North to Alaska." Michonne said.

The previous owner of the house had a media room with an extensive DVD collection that was meticulously shelved in alphabetical order by genre. Rick and Michonne jokingly referred to the media room as Blockbuster.

"You put the movie in and I'll go get the popcorn." Rick said.

"The cheddar cheese." Michonne called after Rick. The two had vowed that they would watch every single movie in the media room. Right now they were working their way through westerns.

Michonne put the movie in and sat down on the couch and covered herself with a throw blanket.

Rick came in a second later carrying a bowl of popcorn and two bottles of coke. He sat the bowl on the coffee table and handed one of the bottles of coke to Michonne.

"Thanks." She said as Rick sat down beside her.

"Give me some of that blanket."

"No way, go get your own."

"Blanket hog."

"And damn proud." Michonne said happily.

Rick laughed.

Michonne handed Rick the edge of the blanket and he put it over his lap.

"Are you ready for The Duke, little missy?" Rick asked in a bad John Wayne impersonation.

Michonne pushed play on the DVD player and the movie started up. "You're not going to do that through the whole movie are you?"

"Well, I reckon I may, and I reckon I may not."

Michonne just laughed and Rick joined in a second later.

"I heard you talking to Carl." Rick confessed.

"You did?"

"You're great with him. Always have been."

"He made it easy, he's a good kid, he was just a little troubled at first."

"Like father like son, hun, only I was more than a little troubled."

"So was I."

"Yes, but I was really fucked up, and I'm sorry for how I treated you, I let what happened to me turn me into a monster and I took it out on you. Carl is right. I am complete crap for putting my hands on your wound like that. Nothing justified that. I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted."

Without forethought the two moved closer to each other. Michonne wondered if Carl was right. Would Rick touch her if she asked him to? She looked at him but he was watching the TV screen, but when he felt her looking at him he turned to look at her.

"What?" Rick looked at Michonne wondering what it was that she was thinking. It wasn't always easy for him to tell, but since they started living together he was learning her language.

"I was just thinking of how far we've come from where we started."

"Trimmed beards and brushed teeth. We have come a long way baby."

"I mean from not being able to trust each other,to friends,to sharing a house."

"To best friends, to sharing a life.' Rick corrected, but he often wondered what would happen if they were ever able to lower their defenses enough to allow themselves to explore how they truly felt about one another.


End file.
